


They still both die at the end

by EmpireOfTheClouds



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, They Both Die at the End - Adam Silvera
Genre: Angst, Force Healing, Force Sensitivity, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Not exactly Star Wars AU, Self-Sacrifice, Short, The Force, They're In Love Your Honor, This book destroyed me, Why doesn't this fandom have more fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25023778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmpireOfTheClouds/pseuds/EmpireOfTheClouds
Summary: If only he could give him some life. Some extra time. If only he could give him as much as Mateo had given him. If only he could bring him back, even if it meant offing himself in the process.Or; Rufus believes that Mateo doesn't deserve to die
Relationships: Rufus Emeterio/Mateo Torrez
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	They still both die at the end

**Author's Note:**

> This book fucking ruined my life

Mateo is dead.  
Mateo is dead.  
Mateo is dead.

No matter how many times he said it to himself, he could never possibly fucking accept it.

He looked at him. At his lifeless body, full of ugly burns, not at all resembling the lively Mateo that played music for him just a little while before. He looked at his chest, desperately seeking that familiar rise and fall, any possible sign that he could still be alive. There was no fucking way he was dead. The doctors must have gotten it wrong.

It should have been him to go first.

It should have been him to die at Mateo's place, because Mateo, that angel with the kindest soul he'd ever interacted with, did not deserve to die.

If only he could give him some life. Some extra time. If only he could give him as much as Mateo had given him. If only he could bring him back, even if it meant offing himself in the process.

He looked at Mateo's body- no, not his body. He's _not_ about to refer to Mateo as if he's merely a fucking corpse, because there's so much more to him than that. There's so much life in him that surfaced too late, only to drown again too soon.

He looked at Mateo.

He looked at Mateo and at the horrible-looking burns that decorated his body, and momentarily, he was scared of touching him, scared that touching his burns would be painful to him. 

He tried again. He touched his chest. Mateo didn't respond. He must be a heavy sleeper, Rufus told himself.

He spread his palm open and rested it against his chest. He felt the dry, rough skin beneath, and flinched, causing more tears to fall from his eyes. He hadn't even realized he had been crying. Although it didn't really come as a surprise.

He closed his eyes. He told himself, you can do this. You can give him strength, you can give him life, and you can make peace with yourself. If you die, you'll die saving him, even if it's for a few hours. After all, no matter what happens, you both die at the end.

He couldn't save his parents. He couldn't save his sister. But he can, and he will, save Mateo.

He pushed.

He felt his head getting lighter, his strength giving up, but he kept pushing. He kept going and going, kept giving Mateo life, even as he felt his own heart struggle to keep up, even as he felt that he struggled to breathe.

Mateo blinked. He was okay now, clothes mostly burnt, but he himself intact.

Rufus smiled at him. Mateo didn't remember what had happened, had no idea where he was, but Rufus's smile was loving, tender, sheepish, and familiar in the best way possible. He kissed him, and Rufus exhaled for the last ever time before dropping to the ground with a thud.

* * *

He held Rufus's hand all the way to the hospital.

He ignored the fact that the skin was pale and cold, and that there was no way he could've made it.

He wasn't even sure what had happened. He remembered smoke and coughing and tears, and choking out Rufus's name, and then passing out.

And suddenly he wakes up, alive and well, and Rufus smiles at him, and Mateo kisses him because he loves him, and he loves that smile, and he loves that they're both alive...

And suddenly, he just...

He just dropped to the ground. No screaming, no crying, no gasping for air, no blood. He just fell.

It was so fucking sudden that it shook Mateo to his core, and he's unable to comprehend any of it cause there's no way, no godforsaken way, that Rufus died just like that, for no apparent reason whatsoever.

The ride to the hospital is short. He barely even blinked throughout the whole journey, but he held onto Rufus's hand for dear life until they forced him to let go.

* * *

Rufus was pronounced dead soon after being admitted to the hospital.

Mateo was the alive one of the two, but as he was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, not moving a muscle and barely blinking for god knows how long, he looked more like a corpse than Rufus did.

* * *

Fire.

Warm, almost welcoming, flames engulfed the body of a 17-year-old boy that was gone way too soon. A boy named Rufus Emeterio. A boy he loved.

He remembered when Rufus gave that kid his bike. It was an act of kindness, yes. But he did it only because he knew he was going to die today.

But what Rufus had done for him, what Rufus had given him, was more priceless than any bike. It was something you can't give to a person easily. Not unless you truly want them to be happy. To live.

Not unless you love them.

* * *

A few hours later, Mateo Torrez crossed the street to the Althea Park. Rufus had said, that was where he wanted his ashes to be scattered, and he was going to grant him his dying wish.

He crossed the street, the box containing Rufus's ashes in his hands. And there was no arm to hold him back.

**Author's Note:**

> It's 3 AM idek what this is please criticise me


End file.
